Or maybe you’re really cautious about safer sex, and you’re worrying about the risks of getting pregnant or STIs with everything you do. Thinking too much about what could happen during sex can make it hard to pay attention to what actually is happening. Overthinking it: Maybe it’s your first time and you’ve got lots of ideas of how it should go.

There’s no single reason why people have a hard time focusing during sex, but here are some possibilities: Not all activities capture everyone’s attention the same way, and it might take some practice if you want to feel more present.

It doesn’t mean you’re bad at sex, or something’s wrong with you. Overall, though, we want to emphasize that it’s okay to find it hard to stay present during sex. This post covers some possible explanations, as well as some possible solutions, for how to address feeling distracted when it comes up during sex. Remember a regular and pleasurable sex life either with yourself or a partner is linked to a youthful appearance, reduced chance of coronary incidents, fewer menopause symptoms and increased energy.Do you ever find it hard to focus on sex? Whether with a partner or by yourself, do you find your mind drifting off or just feel like it’s impossible to pay attention to whatever pleasurable activity you’re trying to do? It’s very common! Slow down, and to wake up parts of your body that may have been asleep for a long time. Learn to relax, and to stop the chatter in your head. Even if it feels strange, do it a number of times (it does get easier and more familiar each time you try). It's much more fun to touch internally when all that is going on. Don't do this until your body has had time to warm up (lubricate and get engorged).

If it feels comfortable, try inserting a finger or two inside yourself.

Wriggle your hips, writhe a little, move certain parts of you.

Use your breath to take your energy up and down.

Take your time to reach the erogenous zones.

Begin with touch to your whole body don't dive straight onto the genitals.

This can start yummy tingles that will grow.

Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles as you breathe (the same ones you engage for Kegel exercises).

Take some deep breaths to help you slow down and focus.

Try playing music or dancing to get you into the mood.

Make sure you have privacy and comfort (temperature, position, space, etc).

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